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SELF-ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I do a process at some engagements. I ask participants, “Tell the group what you want to be acknowledged for?” We begin the process with dyad sharing. Two chairs facing each other. But even in that safety zone, people stumble or resist telling the other person what they really want to be acknowledged for. And whatever they say that first round “ain’t it.”
But this is true for me as well. “Why are people embarrassed to ask for acknowledgment?” And even when they get it from others, they sometimes don’t believe it anyway.
When I self-examine, I find that I am embarrassed to ask for acknowledgment because it makes me feel vulnerable. It brings up a fear that I might appear needy, insecure, or egotistical.
Then there is our culture, which has an unspoken expectation that recognition should be given freely rather than requested—otherwise, it feels less genuine and inauthentic.
Additionally, some people internalize the belief that their worth should be self-evident or that seeking acknowledgment diminishes the value of their accomplishments. I’m one of them.
There’s also the risk of rejection; it feels like an invalidation if I ask for acknowledgment and don’t receive it.
At its core, my reluctance to ask for acknowledgment is often about protecting myself from potential feelings of shame, inadequacy, or dependency.
But as an Elder, I have learned and practiced that those thoughts and feelings are not real either. They come and go. They are my thoughts of the moment that don’t have much staying power.
An Elder’s discipline is to step into the fire, not away from it.
So, I want to be acknowledged for having brought Contemporary Elder into existence, whereby it is known as genuine and recognized contributing value to growing old.
I’m proud that, at age 80, I have launched an expression into the universe that has come into recognized existence, an enterprise that is making a difference. Transitioning people from Older to Elder is ”good” work, which allows me to express myself fully and speak, write and teach, and, therefore, be an Elder.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Gandhi
SUBSTACK
Substack is a big deal for me, and I’ll need your support. It works best by subscription, so we will ask you to subscribe when it launches. Subscribing will directly help us achieve its mission—Elder Wisdom: Growing Old as an Elder.
Substack invites reader commentary, which is critical for next evolutionary step of generating an online community. On my risk side, highly regarded writers, poets, and pundits have migrated to Substack. For me, the vulnerability is that you are read by these peers, not a select audience of your choosing.
Thank you for empowering me to take this larger risk.
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At the institute, we always explore the most effective and efficient way for people to cross the chasm from Older to Elder. Here is an email to participants in our current offering.
To: Participants in the Emancipation Transformation Program
Cc: My Readership
Re: A Parable of Phase I of 3 of the Program
Purpose: You Are the Parable
The Awakening of Elias
Elias, a somewhat somber older man with grey hair and weary eyes, sat alone on his porch, watching the evening sky burn with the colors of the setting sun.
For years, his mind had been his master—filling his days with regrets of the past and anxieties about the future. He was trapped in an ever-ending loop of thoughts, a prisoner of his own mind.
One day, while tending to his small garden, he noticed a bird resting on a branch. The bird sat still, unbothered, watching the world with quiet presence.
Elias envied its peace. “If only my mind would rest like that,” he muttered.
At that moment, a thought arose: Who is noticing this?
He paused, hands covered in soil. Was it his mind speaking, or was it something deeper?
He realized that he could observe his thoughts, much like he observed the bird.
And if he could observe them, then surely, he was not them.
A quiet stillness settled over him. He looked around—the wind moving the leaves, the earth's warmth beneath his fingers, the gentle rhythm of his breath.
For the first time, he felt the vastness of awareness itself. His thoughts, once oppressive, were now like passing clouds in the sky of his consciousness.
Elias smiled, a deep, knowing smile. He was not his regrets, his fears, or the endless chatter of his mind. He was the one who saw them.
From that day forward, he walked not as an old man burdened by thought but as an Elder—rooted in presence, free in his awareness.
His mind was still there thinking thoughts, but now, he was the master, not the captive.
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NEXT YEAR – A WHALE OF A PROGRAM
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